So Im both super excited and a little bit nervous about an upcoming opportunity. I have a chance to teach a class at One of the biggest and best studios in the Valley this Sunday. Its a one hour donation class. All proceeds go to a local no kill animal shelter. I got the news today that I will be rotating with five other teachers for six months of Sundays and they selected me to be the first. So yay! or………oh dang.
Last week I auditioned for this opportunity. I was given one weeks notice to put together a 20 minute class and show the owners at Black Dog what I can offer. As per my usual I sat right down and made a list. I make lots of lists. Write the class, practice the class, practice saying the class, mop the floor, call your sister,…….yadadada. Writing the class was fine. Practicing he class went ok. I allowed myself to get distracted a few times and I’m not certain I ever really got through the whole thing. So then I started in on scripting the class. I found myself super tongue tied, stressed and dare I say crying over what exact words to use for my transitions and which adjustments to emphasize. I wanted desperately to have some great quote or inspirational story. You know that cool thing the yoga teacher says that makes everyone smile quietly and thing about something really profound. I dug all over my library and the internet for the perfect little ujaii explanation gem. I stressed over this, I stressed over that, I stressed out over feeling stressed out. I started my period. I cried like a lunatic.
Let me preface this by saying Im not a cryer. Oh I have had my days. I think the last half of my 20s were spent balling out loud for one reason or another. I just really haven’t in a while. I’m a grown woman with shit to do. I spent a lot of my youth in tears and I just don’t have time for that anymore. Also, I have learned to identify many of those tear trigger moments as nothing more than my insecurities causing me to miss-read or over blow the situation. I guess (maybe) thats a product of being bullied as a kid. (they say anyway, I have always just blocked that out). So last week, in anticipation of my audition, fueled by raging hormones, I went full blown emotional over-drama. I spent lots of time obsessing and not enough time practicing. I lashed out at my family, blaming them for taking up all of my time, and then the straw that broke the camels back, I forgot to take care of myself. I was so freaked out about teaching people how to DO yoga that I forgot to BE a yogI. I didn’t practice, I didn’t chant, I ate crappy, I drank beer (I LOOOOOOVE Beer, It doesn’t love me back) and to be honest I think I forgot to shower for a couple days. It got ugly.
So THIS TIME….. oh hell no. I have to get this shit under control. I am going to take steps to learn from my terrible week, work hard, and actively change my yoga teaching Karma.
Strategy number one-screw the list. I have all the same domestic responsibilities that I usually do. Their is no need to write it down. Also, when I make lists I always add extra stuff thinking I’ll have so much time. Then I look at the giant list and get stressed. Nope.
Strategy number two……Im not going to over think the scripting. Rather then trying to think of the perfect thing to say, I am going to memorize my sequence and rely on my actual knowledge of the poses to teach them. I know this stuff. Ha! I have been doing it with my eyes closed (literally) for over a decade.
Strategy number three……Chant (Im a buddhist), and practice. I know myself well enough to know that I need regular exercise endorphins to keep my spirits up. I went to an intuitive dance jam last night and I’m going to make sure and hit up a few of my favorite yoga classes throughout the week.
The last strategy is a two parter. I have to remember my original intention for becoming a yoga teacher. I am doing this to help people. I am in service to others. In reality I should totally be cool with this gig. I have worked nothing but service jobs for 23 years and I was super great at them. Also I have to remember what made those jobs great were both the customers and the ability to have fun while I worked. Dude! yoga is soooo0 fun. I can kick ass, taking care of people, and have fun. Bam! perfect life, nothing to stress about. Now I’m off to do some yoga.